Columnist: Bail out the newspapers

Gil Spencer, the very entertaining columnist for The Delaware County Daily & Sunday Times in Primos, imagines the kind of treatment newspapers would get if they showed up in Washington, D.C., asking for a government bailout.

Here's a portion of his column, which is a preview of an exchange Spencer imagines having with Sen. Ted Kennedy:

Sen. Kennedy: Of course. Billion! Why should the American people lend your industry $25 billion?

Spencerblog: Because it will be good for the economy?

Sen. Kennedy: We’re asking the questions here.

Spencerblog: Because it will be good for the economy!

Sen. Kennedy: Good answer. And how will it be good for the economy, Mr. Spencerborg?

Spencerblog: It will keep thousands of newspaper men and women employed so they can buy stuff and not have to go on the dole. Also, newspapers help the public know what’s going on.

Sen. Kennedy: Like by bringing up painful things that happened almost 40 years ago?

Spencerblog: I’m sorry? I’m not sure ...

Sen. Kennedy: Let me see if I can refresh your memory ... (reading) “The Kennedy family has a long history, but it mostly involves helping themselves to power, sex, and money and not caring who gets hurt in the bargain as long as it’s not them.” Ring any bells?

Spencerblog: Oh, that. Yes, well. I do recall, I’m not sure I ...

Sen. Kennedy: In what way was this helping the public’s right to know?

Spencerblog: As I recall senator, that was written in response to a comment ... Of course, I’d like to apolo ...

Sen. Kennedy: Yes, it WAS written in response to a comment. This one: “The Kennedy family has a long history of public service and helping the poor, the disenfranchised, the minorities and the advancement of civil rights. These are important American values and Caroline Kennedy would vote for them as a senator.” Something in there you don’t agree with?

Read the full column, "Spencerblog is fighting for newspapers," at the newspaper's Web site.